The traveler has come with us on October 6, tomorrow is already spent two months and it seems so long, she is 10 cm longer, if she smiles I smile, opens his eyes when I rise up in what was for her to be a kind of teleportation, it reacts to my songs out of tune. This is the story of those days of October, still warm and sunny when we became two of three.
Tuesday 5 was on Christmas Eve and I started spignattando in the kitchen so as to leave what to eat and my mom in P evenings dragging me back from the hospital on my now 16 kg: the last two weeks I told myself that now i kg were seized and taken with P. we have data lautissimi calorie meals every recombinant form as possible. In a fit of hyperkinesis I also proceeded to make cleaning the whole house .. IN SHORT, I HAVE done everything to get to hospital on Tuesday evening TOTALLY DESTROYED of physical tiredness, SO DO NOT ABLE TO SLEEP AND INSOMNIA BY PAURANSIA.
Pauransia of what? of becoming a mother? of not being up to? stains. Fear of the operation. That said it seems really silly, but for me that have never been in hospital if not two hours to take off in dentistry, wisdom teeth and a Once in the emergency room at the high school for a swoon, it was very difficult to digest the idea of \u200b\u200bcutting myself, to be anesthetized, although I would have stayed awake. I passed in front of all those nasty stories read in the newspapers in recent months, shares of parts that had to be normal and ended badly and now it's much easier to admit, I am the night before the 'intervention rather than thinking "tomorrow I will know my daughter" I thought "tomorrow I hope not to die." Have told me for two weeks from the day of the visit confirmed that the wrong location of the traveler, who was not a tragedy, that today is a routine thing, that indeed there are people who pay to have a caesarean, even if he does not need, and I spent a wonderful two weeks with P. waiting for the event .. but in the end, the last mile of this beautiful marathon, this was my biggest fear, that I could not share with anyone, not even with P. On the morning of 6
this tension between two levels, my deepest fear, and the normal operations of the landing of the traveler (monitoring, blood collection, talk to your midwife, talk with the anesthesiologist, etc.), I has led to increasingly detach myself from reality, no longer seemed he was going to happen to me, nor to be the next operation, nor to be close to becoming mother. I started to focus on more practical things. Like, I have given to me in the shower, including hair (and I the day before I had done pretty well for the crease), with a lotion called betadine and which serves to sterilize the patient ... so I found myself reflections with mahogany hair and skin yellow lampados islands, such as Truzzi that Saturday afternoon in the shower to go solar disk in the evening. Then they gave me the gown for the operating room: that we will be in France, I really appreciated the choice of indigo, which here is definitely the color of fashion for the winter. Then the pairing with my betadinesco was certainly very colorful electric pop. Add antitrombo socks (in all senses) who ordered me to put my gynecological crowds (as well as surgeon of the situation): thick white with orange piping on the top and bottom: if I had seen Lady Gaga would die of envy!! Pe
my mom were both at my sides, he with the delivery of care of the little traveler during my stay after surgery: neither I nor P. he wanted assistesse childbirth was natural or not, because we prefer to think of birth as a time to be gentle and do not splatter stilnovo .. and it is better not to have certain memories, to have some thoughts:-D
Thus, a skinny waitress came to take me to the ground floor in the operating room in all my glory yellow indigo. The poor man could not take it to guide me on the bed with it and so P.si launched into a fit by Doug Ross, has Straddle the attendant, grabbed the headboard of the bed and I drove him to the elevator: I I smiled thinking about the DO NOT CARE SEE HOW ARE SERENA, and in me was dying of fright and he smiled at me thinking NOT SEE HOW YOU CARE SERENO. Fear of dying too, confessed to me only later, when I came back from surgery, which in these two weeks had, deep down, fear of intervention for the same reason that I was afraid I.
Conversation by elevator (from maternity operating room)
Janitor skinny (gay): Madame, but fine-looking boy, her husband!
Me: eh, thanks
Janitor skinny: Who is your doctor?
Me: eh, Dr. G.
skinny Janitor: Ah, well, well, Dr. G. one is full of style! I
(nervous giggle) (which are then G. I chose and I trust him and me is sympathetic because it is a bit 'of the Morgan gynecologists h): h, it is a special type
Janitor skinny: ah even if I were to give me a tour in the operating room, I would choose him for sure.
I tried to imagine what could be a tour in the operating room: the skinny waitress with pierced ears full of rhinestones, I dressed by Lady Gaga parturient and Dr. G. all in green surgeon who sings the Marseillaise, but we got the skinny and I parked outside the operating room, au revoir Madame! Meanwhile, a terrible desire to pee, but I made it 5 minutes before: real pee or I am doing under the fear? I'm beginning to commend to the Lord, I am trembling, I could cry, I lose my pee more and more, and then of course I always preparatory contractions, because they are still at 38 weeks ... I probably look like a Madonnino pierced tremendous, because every single doctor, nurse, auxiliary cleaning that goes next to me threw a blind eye on my folder, and read Caesar and stops to ask whether it is male or female, to tell me not to worry that it is a routine stuff (especially the cleaning me he repeated it several times while going up and down with bags of garbage medical). After 10 minutes all the operating room knows my cv: I am Italian, my husband is Polish, the girl called Beatrice, Beatrice comme en français, I lose my pee, I've never had an operation and I'm so scared. The anesthesiologist told me to hold on to the pee that I bring the probe after anesthesia so I miss it hurts ... but you know, when you beat the piss, a second seems forever. There's my doctor's two assistants, one of the two launches immediately into English all happy because he never occasion to speak in the operating room (strange, eh?), the anesthesiologist will start his job, put up a tent that keeps me from seeing that combine the rest of me, I can only see that he knows the English passed me carrying a bucket of betadine and a boar brush type brush and brushing is probably my all, in the meantime I feel my legs and into the belly of plastic .. what a strange feeling ... and he comes, Dr. G, gynecological style, triumphantly singing alors bon alors ma petite valentina .. y goes on, are all thoughtful and kind and I feel cramps and I try to focus with the lack of clarity I left the anesthesia (yes, you awake but you're not fully in you) that is coming Beatrice, which is true, and soon we shall see. After some time I hear a slight whimper, not a desperate cry like in the movies, and then another and then I do not remember how but suddenly find myself on the shoulder next to a small child, a perfect miniature weeping by the square-mouthed as I do and my daughter. I tell you baby, baby, I can not cry, I can not think, I'm happy to see that little hand and perfect and that little face sticking out in a blue cover ... then the midwife took my baby and brought it on by P., who did not know if it was a girl or a boy. I left the operating room with Dr. G. I was singing hello hello and went on to the next woman in labor, then I passt 2 hours in the recovery room, as anesthesia was leaving the movement of the uterus were terrible ... I do not know how, I had missed the concept that after childbirth the uterus contracts, and will continue to do so for a while having to go from basketball to tennis ball!
Tuesday 5 was on Christmas Eve and I started spignattando in the kitchen so as to leave what to eat and my mom in P evenings dragging me back from the hospital on my now 16 kg: the last two weeks I told myself that now i kg were seized and taken with P. we have data lautissimi calorie meals every recombinant form as possible. In a fit of hyperkinesis I also proceeded to make cleaning the whole house .. IN SHORT, I HAVE done everything to get to hospital on Tuesday evening TOTALLY DESTROYED of physical tiredness, SO DO NOT ABLE TO SLEEP AND INSOMNIA BY PAURANSIA.
Pauransia of what? of becoming a mother? of not being up to? stains. Fear of the operation. That said it seems really silly, but for me that have never been in hospital if not two hours to take off in dentistry, wisdom teeth and a Once in the emergency room at the high school for a swoon, it was very difficult to digest the idea of \u200b\u200bcutting myself, to be anesthetized, although I would have stayed awake. I passed in front of all those nasty stories read in the newspapers in recent months, shares of parts that had to be normal and ended badly and now it's much easier to admit, I am the night before the 'intervention rather than thinking "tomorrow I will know my daughter" I thought "tomorrow I hope not to die." Have told me for two weeks from the day of the visit confirmed that the wrong location of the traveler, who was not a tragedy, that today is a routine thing, that indeed there are people who pay to have a caesarean, even if he does not need, and I spent a wonderful two weeks with P. waiting for the event .. but in the end, the last mile of this beautiful marathon, this was my biggest fear, that I could not share with anyone, not even with P. On the morning of 6
this tension between two levels, my deepest fear, and the normal operations of the landing of the traveler (monitoring, blood collection, talk to your midwife, talk with the anesthesiologist, etc.), I has led to increasingly detach myself from reality, no longer seemed he was going to happen to me, nor to be the next operation, nor to be close to becoming mother. I started to focus on more practical things. Like, I have given to me in the shower, including hair (and I the day before I had done pretty well for the crease), with a lotion called betadine and which serves to sterilize the patient ... so I found myself reflections with mahogany hair and skin yellow lampados islands, such as Truzzi that Saturday afternoon in the shower to go solar disk in the evening. Then they gave me the gown for the operating room: that we will be in France, I really appreciated the choice of indigo, which here is definitely the color of fashion for the winter. Then the pairing with my betadinesco was certainly very colorful electric pop. Add antitrombo socks (in all senses) who ordered me to put my gynecological crowds (as well as surgeon of the situation): thick white with orange piping on the top and bottom: if I had seen Lady Gaga would die of envy!! Pe
my mom were both at my sides, he with the delivery of care of the little traveler during my stay after surgery: neither I nor P. he wanted assistesse childbirth was natural or not, because we prefer to think of birth as a time to be gentle and do not splatter stilnovo .. and it is better not to have certain memories, to have some thoughts:-D
Thus, a skinny waitress came to take me to the ground floor in the operating room in all my glory yellow indigo. The poor man could not take it to guide me on the bed with it and so P.si launched into a fit by Doug Ross, has Straddle the attendant, grabbed the headboard of the bed and I drove him to the elevator: I I smiled thinking about the DO NOT CARE SEE HOW ARE SERENA, and in me was dying of fright and he smiled at me thinking NOT SEE HOW YOU CARE SERENO. Fear of dying too, confessed to me only later, when I came back from surgery, which in these two weeks had, deep down, fear of intervention for the same reason that I was afraid I.
Conversation by elevator (from maternity operating room)
Janitor skinny (gay): Madame, but fine-looking boy, her husband!
Me: eh, thanks
Janitor skinny: Who is your doctor?
Me: eh, Dr. G.
skinny Janitor: Ah, well, well, Dr. G. one is full of style! I
(nervous giggle) (which are then G. I chose and I trust him and me is sympathetic because it is a bit 'of the Morgan gynecologists h): h, it is a special type
Janitor skinny: ah even if I were to give me a tour in the operating room, I would choose him for sure.
I tried to imagine what could be a tour in the operating room: the skinny waitress with pierced ears full of rhinestones, I dressed by Lady Gaga parturient and Dr. G. all in green surgeon who sings the Marseillaise, but we got the skinny and I parked outside the operating room, au revoir Madame! Meanwhile, a terrible desire to pee, but I made it 5 minutes before: real pee or I am doing under the fear? I'm beginning to commend to the Lord, I am trembling, I could cry, I lose my pee more and more, and then of course I always preparatory contractions, because they are still at 38 weeks ... I probably look like a Madonnino pierced tremendous, because every single doctor, nurse, auxiliary cleaning that goes next to me threw a blind eye on my folder, and read Caesar and stops to ask whether it is male or female, to tell me not to worry that it is a routine stuff (especially the cleaning me he repeated it several times while going up and down with bags of garbage medical). After 10 minutes all the operating room knows my cv: I am Italian, my husband is Polish, the girl called Beatrice, Beatrice comme en français, I lose my pee, I've never had an operation and I'm so scared. The anesthesiologist told me to hold on to the pee that I bring the probe after anesthesia so I miss it hurts ... but you know, when you beat the piss, a second seems forever. There's my doctor's two assistants, one of the two launches immediately into English all happy because he never occasion to speak in the operating room (strange, eh?), the anesthesiologist will start his job, put up a tent that keeps me from seeing that combine the rest of me, I can only see that he knows the English passed me carrying a bucket of betadine and a boar brush type brush and brushing is probably my all, in the meantime I feel my legs and into the belly of plastic .. what a strange feeling ... and he comes, Dr. G, gynecological style, triumphantly singing alors bon alors ma petite valentina .. y goes on, are all thoughtful and kind and I feel cramps and I try to focus with the lack of clarity I left the anesthesia (yes, you awake but you're not fully in you) that is coming Beatrice, which is true, and soon we shall see. After some time I hear a slight whimper, not a desperate cry like in the movies, and then another and then I do not remember how but suddenly find myself on the shoulder next to a small child, a perfect miniature weeping by the square-mouthed as I do and my daughter. I tell you baby, baby, I can not cry, I can not think, I'm happy to see that little hand and perfect and that little face sticking out in a blue cover ... then the midwife took my baby and brought it on by P., who did not know if it was a girl or a boy. I left the operating room with Dr. G. I was singing hello hello and went on to the next woman in labor, then I passt 2 hours in the recovery room, as anesthesia was leaving the movement of the uterus were terrible ... I do not know how, I had missed the concept that after childbirth the uterus contracts, and will continue to do so for a while having to go from basketball to tennis ball!
Beatrice was born and was healthy, I was alive. Now at last I could fully enjoy, without shadows. With a tremendous physical pain on me, but I tried a lot, a lot of joy ... I could not wait to go back up to review P., to see her again, and the rest of that little face and the hand emerge from the blue blanket on my shoulder.
The skinny attendant brought me here:
- Madame, how was the tour?
This time I laughed, badly shaken by the uterus, but I laughed really.
I will never forget when I came into my room and I saw P., kissed me, told me that I will never forget those words (and yeah, it was happy that she was a child) but who had been so scared for me and could not wait for you to come on, who had dressed the little girl following my instructions (ah Saxon spirit!) and that the first words had told him in Italian! Then I saw her in a bed with transparent Plexiglas walls beside me, dressed in white and yellow sweater made by my mother for my birth. I could not touch it, too bad I had to pull myself up but I saw a few cm, with the head turned toward me through that plexiglass, sleeping with his eyes closed and his mouth stretched into a smile. While P. finally went out to call out the world to proclaim the good news, my mom was dissolved in double role mother and grandmother. Just needed my father, who had since the highway and drove from London while I was in the operating room .. it failed to arrive 10 minutes before it ended permission to visit and was perhaps even more excited for us, we have divided by three in hours of tension and excitement. Not potendomi close embrace because I was sore all over, has forged strong P.
Cara Beatrice, my little traveler, you were born 38 weeks just started, but slightly lighter in proportion, while you were next to my bed I lengthened to give the index and you to hold your hand with the strong color-lit, with long fingers long and thin. At night you have brought it back from me, leaning on my chest, you hold on you now looking for the milk that I still had not, and for the first time you open your blue eyes on me. I did not come, neither then nor later, none of the possessive thoughts like: I'm your mother, I did it myself .... I thought you were a small person that I have the pleasure to discover and follow in your life, day after day. In the following days in hospital I got the milk, I learned to get a bath, trying to understand your tears, but my mother really felt for the first time, steady and sure of myself in this role, Sunday, when the pediatrician told her unsolicited opinion, and I thought YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING OF MY DAUGHTER!!
Beatrice was born on Wednesday, as a mother Valentina, eye, Sunday : - D
ENG - Viatrix Advenit ,
our little Voyager finally arrived on the 6th of October.
Since we got confirmation on the 20 th September that the little Voyager didn’t turn in the write exit position and so the c-section was scheduled on the 6 th , me and P. made our best to enjoy this last time of wait: we lived those days as a kind of joyful march to the finishing of a long marathon.
At the Eve of the Voyager’s Arrival my inner tension between the fear for the intervention and the amazement for meeting finally this wonder of life inside of me was overwhelming, but the morning of the 6 th I woke up feeling totally abstracted from reality: I felt like it was not going to happen to me. My focus was absorbed by practical things: the nurse instructed me to get a double shower top to toe with a lotion called betadine that made my whole skin yellow like after solarium and my hair a bit red. Then I had to wear a surgery gown indigo color, curiously considered one of the most fashionable in France for this fall/winter season. The contrast between my yellow skin and the purple was already quite electric pop, but after fitting on my legs the white anti-thrombosis stockings with orange edges that the doctor ordered me, I can tell you Lady Gaga would have die to have such an outfit!
When a skinny attendant came to bring me to the surgery room, my nerves broke down and I really felt full of fear while the he tried to make conversation with me in the lift
Attendant: Madame, who’s your doctor?
Me: Doctor G.
Attendant: oh well, doctor G. is full of style! If I would have to make a tour in the surgery room, I’ll definitely go for him.
I was trying to imagine what could be a tour in the surgery room, the skinny attendant with the ears full of Swarovski piercings, me dressed up like Lady Gaga and Doctor G. fully dressed in surgeon green, singing the Marseillaise? but the lift travel was already over. I was probably looking very scared because while I was waiting to be brought to the surgery room, every single doctor, nurse, attendant, janitor and cleaning guy passing by my bed looked at my clinic folder (c-section) and stopped to ask if it was boy or girl, that I shouldn’t be upset at all (especially the cleaning guy kept telling me 3 times that it was a routine operation). The assistants of my doctor came to pick me showing off his English (Oh Madame I’m so glad to speak English with you, I don’t have a lot of occasions of practice here in the surgery room!). Eventually Doctor G. entered the room singing, as his usual, alors alors ma petite Valentina quelle musique pour vous auourd’hui ? The anesthetics was already going in me so I just said “rock”, without thinking about it. Well, doctor, anesthetist and assistant blew out of their lungs their rock repertory and I didn’t even realize the operation was already ongoing until Doctor G. stopped the choir and said “on y va” . here we go, soon I was going to meet our daughter: few seconds later I heard the little quiet cry of a baby, and straight after a perfect small face appeared on my shoulder, all wrapped in a blue blanket, with just a little perfect tiny hand getting out. I was overwhelmed, I just told her Piccola, piccola, and then they brought her out to P.. When a couple of hours later the same skinny attendant came to pick me back to my room, he naturally asked:
-Madame, how it was the tour ?
And finally I came back to P. and Beatrice. He told me those words I won’t forget in our lifetime; she was sleeping, so small but so perfect, in the same white & yellow sweater my mother knitted for my birth, I wasn’t able to touch her cause I couldn’t lift myself high enough from my bed, but I was looking at her beautiful face through the plexiglass of the crib. Later in the days at the hospital I carried on taking confidence with this small person that I have the joy to accompany through life, learning All These actions from the nurses for taking care of a baby ... I can tell you that i felt for the first time filled with the authority of Being a mother and fully self confident on Sunday, When The pediatrician Requested not given her opinion on Some matter and I thought, looking at her, YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY DAUGHTER!
Beatrice Baby Was Born on wensday, Valentina as a mother on sunday!
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