There is no way to understand where I am ... this morning when I opened my eyes, I never thought that it would end this way. Got so out of nowhere, without knowing why, without knowing the reason for such cruelty ... I have not done anything really! Nothing justifies such a treatment anyway ... My life has never even remotely approached what I wanted, yet I was okay. I had no great pretensions ... get up late on weekends, looking out the window at the raindrops whispering to each other and fight. Canned food, every day, output never, never a caress out of the ordinary daily contact. I have no memory of my childhood, I do not know if this place before ending up in my life was different ... maybe I ran too free in the fields, feeling the light touch of the grass. Maybe I've had friends, but I can not remember. I remember only the slow gray days are always the same, locked in the damn lab, the same faces, the same things ... formulas to formulas ... equations. And my life aside in a corner ... I did not choose to do this end, I chose not to live this way! Yet, eventually, the habit has reached me, dampening any possible resentment.
And now this.
Today, just finished lunch, I grabbed and I have no regard hooded. I could hear their voices, I heard their speeches, how important it was to science what they were doing, that maybe it would take some time to understand ... They were excited! No one has alluded to me, and my ... For them are nothing more than an object, a sacrificial guinea pig! I am also a human being! I have feelings too! They live for God's sake! I have not been heard even when I started screaming, scratching, swinging ... totally useless. The obstinacy of those who are convinced of being right. I was thrown into this ... "post" ... I do not know what it is, how to define it ... does not filter any light. Completely dark ... To think that I've always liked the dark, I felt at ease in the dark, saying it was my element ... But not this dark, dark clouds. I'm suffocating. Not even the smallest crack, the more modest hope ... I feel the metal floor and the walls of the same hardness. It 's cold. E 'wet ... why am I here?! I'm not interested in science, I do not care nothing ... Perhaps at one time ... maybe just her, his candor, the His fragiltà ... she took me away ... Maybe it's really better this way then, maybe you should go away in this hole of darkness and let time slowly consume me ... I can not say at the end to leave a life, not real life at least. In all this time I just survive. Perhaps this is really what I deserve for my indecision, my cowardice! You did well! Whoever you are, you did well! You had to kill like a dog, and let me down on the floor! It would be ironic right ...
I can not breathe ... I do not know how long ago ... One day, maybe a week I do not know more ... I do not think I get out alive from here ... even now I am sure ...
One moment ... what's that noise?! There seems to be opening something ... no, you do not see anything ... But what ... what happens? I can not understand, what the hell they are doing!? Then there is someone out there! Is there anyone! Hey! I feel bastards!? Open this fucking cage! I have not done anything! Why am I here?! Why are you doing this to me!? I never hurt anyone, I've never even had anyone to hurt! Let me out please!
Silence ... damn ... the silence is back to weigh down the dark ... One moment ... there is something different ... what's that?! ... It is ... food ... E 'food! Oh my god! Food! They want to keep me alive! I want to survive, but then maybe I can get out of this hell! Oh my god! Food! Food! Where?! Where the hell is it?! I can not see anything, I'm just sniffing ... Here it is, here it is! And 'here I feel it! Here he is at last! Tuna ... ... it seems stingy smell of shit! They gave me the tuna! Without even a drop of water! I hate you, hate you! Sadistic fucking! Will I be able to come out here and I will kill you all! I swear! You are dead! Dead!
fucking tuna ... but why they waited so long to feed me ...? ... I smell it, those bastards are capable of anything, who knows what they put in this damn tuna! no! no! I have to calm down, only just paranoia, it's just tuna. It 's just the simple, dry, tirchioso, damn fucking tuna. So why something tells me not to eat it!? I'm starving!
days have passed ... yet ... I do not know how many that tuna fish starts to stink, I have not eaten since ... they gave me, they have never made contact, maybe it was my last meal, a gesture of clemency sick in their heads! I could eat it before at this point, when it was still good when it was still soft and tasty ... now already rancid stench of ... I do not know what to do ... eat!? do not eat?! But why?! why?! Just me!? God! God why are you doing this?! Are not you too have a damned creature?! The truth ... the truth is that you do not give a fuck about us! To you do not give a fuck! You are like the pigs that they put me in here! Are you a deviant! Have you no soul! I left to rot in here! Damn! Damn you all! I hope sooner or later suffer as I am suffering! I hope that your discovery, for which I sacrifice, bring you to the grave!
I do not know who I am, I do not remember anything, everything was swallowed by the black sea that surrounds me ... I do not know even if they are alive or not ... I do not feel their eyes, I feel nothing ... ... I do not know where I am ... if that's what we expect next is a big rip-off ... dead or alive ...
Immortal ... this will make me immortal paradox ...
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